To Martin Ling : A sincere apology

AustrianAndyGull · Post by **AustrianAndyGull** » 24 Feb 2014, 20:58

I don't expect Mr Ling will ever read this but I just thought it appropriate I post it before I sign off the site again for a good while. It may be old news but I bought the Herald Express when down in Torquay on Saturday and they ran a little article in the sports pages about Ling and how brave he was to admit his battle with depression whilst working for us and also Cambridge. I had been led to believe that he left us for different reasons, some self inflicted.

Now I know the true extent of his illness then I have to say I am ashamed of some of the comments I made during his time with us. As someone who also has battled with and has an understanding of similar issues I can now put two and two together and it all seems to make sense to me in the way he managed the team.

I accused him of being a one trick pony and only knowing how to play one way but I myself am familiar with repetitive and safety behaviours in a mental health context and I actually believe this is what he was enduring whilst managing us and if so I feel deeply deeply ashamed. It is perfectly feasible for me to assume this and the signs and evidence for such an assumption were apparent looking back.

With this in mind I know I can't take back some of the hurtful things I may have said about the man but I can apologise profusely and say how proud I am of the man for admitting he has an illness and getting help. It is so hard nowadays to admit problems like these because they aren't physical disabilities, you can't see them and you don't often know what to do about them and many ignorant people laugh and think such sufferers are weirdo's. I say f*ck off to those morons and wish on them that they too may one day be staring into a black hole and wondering if it actually has an end and gradually convincing themselves that it is infinite. Stupidity and ignorance is infinite and if you have them then there really IS no end to your black holes. You can't GET any help. You're stuck with it. People with depression and other mental health issues can get better, become more well rounded and empathetic and become a success whilst the ones who mock are stuck with being complete d*ckheads for ever.

I don't know what Martin is doing now, the last I heard he was struggling to get back into football but what I can say in light of what I have learned on Saturday is that Martin should be commended for doing the right thing for himself and other sufferers of mental health issues and putting it in the public domain for a while anyway. I hope he gets back on track permanently in both his personal and professional life and he has proved that he is a very strong character indeed and I'd be happy to have him back at Plainmoor as manager should it ever happen. Because now i understand.

Well Martin, i know you aren't reading this but i sincerely wish you all the best and keep believing in yourself.

That's it really, don't know what else to say. I just thought it the right thing to do although it is after the event. No doubt i contributed in a miniscule part to the wave of anger aimed at Martin although at the time on the face of it i believed a lot of it was justified. That is no excuse however and i can't turn the clock back knowing what i do now. Perhaps it should have taught me not to jump in with both feet at the first time of a crisis but it happened with Knill too. I'm desperately trying not to get too carried away with things now and i don't want to be first down Hargreaves throat should things continue to go wrong. I need to learn from past events.

That's it really.

rooster · Post by **rooster** » 24 Feb 2014, 21:06

I will ensure that your sincere comments and message is read by Martin.
Thanks

AustrianAndyGull · Post by **AustrianAndyGull** » 24 Feb 2014, 21:15

Oh ok rooster thanks. I may be completely wrong about his issues having a hand in how he managed the team but regardless my sentiments are the same. He always came across as a thoroughly genuine and likeable bloke and it was purely football reasons i had criticisms of him. Knill i see differently but Martin was affable and always had time for people.

Gullscorer · Post by **Gullscorer** » 24 Feb 2014, 21:19

Agreed. Excellent post Andy. I too have suffered depressions in the past, and I can confirm that it is possible to come through the other end and go on to achieve much in life. We can only hope that those who have not endured this affliction will try to understand and show some compassion, and not to rush to judgement so quickly in future.

hector · Post by **hector** » 24 Feb 2014, 21:23

AustrianAntheaGull wrote:I don't expect Mr Ling will ever read this but I just thought it appropriate I post it before I sign off the site again for a good while. It may be old news but I bought the Herald Express when down in Torquay on Saturday and they ran a little article in the sports pages about Ling and how brave he was to admit his battle with depression whilst working for us and also Cambridge. I had been led to believe that he left us for different reasons, some self inflicted.

Now I know the true extent of his illness then I have to say I am ashamed of some of the comments I made during his time with us. As someone who also has battled with and has an understanding of similar issues I can now put two and two together and it all seems to make sense to me in the way he managed the team.

I accused him of being a one trick pony and only knowing how to play one way but I myself am familiar with repetitive and safety behaviours in a mental health context and I actually believe this is what he was enduring whilst managing us and if so I feel deeply deeply ashamed. It is perfectly feasible for me to assume this and the signs and evidence for such an assumption were apparent looking back.

With this in mind I know I can't take back some of the hurtful things I may have said about the man but I can apologise profusely and say how proud I am of the man for admitting he has an illness and getting help. It is so hard nowadays to admit problems like these because they aren't physical disabilities, you can't see them and you don't often know what to do about them and many ignorant people laugh and think such sufferers are weirdo's. I say f*ck off to those morons and wish on them that they too may one day be staring into a black hole and wondering if it actually has an end and gradually convincing themselves that it is infinite. Stupidity and ignorance is infinite and if you have them then there really IS no end to your black holes. You can't GET any help. You're stuck with it. People with depression and other mental health issues can get better, become more well rounded and empathetic and become a success whilst the ones who mock are stuck with being complete d*ckheads for ever.

I don't know what Martin is doing now, the last I heard he was struggling to get back into football but what I can say in light of what I have learned on Saturday is that Martin should be commended for doing the right thing for himself and other sufferers of mental health issues and putting it in the public domain for a while anyway. I hope he gets back on track permanently in both his personal and professional life and he has proved that he is a very strong character indeed and I'd be happy to have him back at Plainmoor as manager should it ever happen. Because now i understand.

Well Martin, i know you aren't reading this but i sincerely wish you all the best and keep believing in yourself.

That's it really, don't know what else to say. I just thought it the right thing to do although it is after the event. No doubt i contributed in a miniscule part to the wave of anger aimed at Martin although at the time on the face of it i believed a lot of it was justified. That is no excuse however and i can't turn the clock back knowing what i do now. Perhaps it should have taught me not to jump in with both feet at the first time of a crisis but it happened with Knill too. I'm desperately trying not to get too carried away with things now and i don't want to be first down Hargreaves throat should things continue to go wrong. I need to learn from past events.

That's it really.

A brave posting, Andy in response to a brave interview by Martin Ling.

AustrianAndyGull · Post by **AustrianAndyGull** » 24 Feb 2014, 21:23

It's debatable whether i have achieved anything much though!

I was recognised as one of the UK's youngest gout sufferers years ago. I'm proud of that.

rooster · Post by **rooster** » 24 Feb 2014, 21:24

No problem, I know Martin will appreciate your words. Its now in the past although he was absolutely gutted not to be able to come back and be given the opportunity to prove to the football world that he was fit and well and back in business, he obviously felt let down by the club but that was confined to the board and not the fans. Whilst he was not everyones favourite he accepts that as that is part of the job........as you can imagine the way things turned out were frustrating and extremely upsetting for him.

On a more positive note he is doing well and has fingers in a few pies but would relish the opportunity to get back in the thick of it should he be granted that opportunity.

I wander where we would have been now had he been allowed to continue, our current position could be the legacy of not doing the right thing at the time maybe.......who knows.

Gullscorer · Post by **Gullscorer** » 24 Feb 2014, 21:27

AustrianAntheaGull wrote:It's debatable whether i have achieved anything much though!
I was recognised as one of the UK's youngest gout sufferers years ago. I'm proud of that.

Says a lot about your lifestyle, Andy..!! =D

brucie · Post by **brucie** » 24 Feb 2014, 22:47

Errr if he suffered from depression at two clubs really being a football manager is the wrong job for him - he is better off out of it.

AustrianAndyGull · Post by **AustrianAndyGull** » 24 Feb 2014, 22:52

Errr it wasn't the jobs that made him depressed, it was a chemical imbalance in the brain combined with stress and anxiety brought on by a number of indeterminable factors.

Like i said, stupidity and ignorance.

ferrarilover · Post by **ferrarilover** » 24 Feb 2014, 22:58

Depends why you were mean to him. If you were upset because you were of the opinion that he wasn't a very good manager (however you might decide that), then I don't see why you'd apologise.
If you're making personal judgements about a man you don't know from Adam and who just happens to manager the team you follow, then you should probably have a bit of a look at yourself in the first place. Apologising is probably a good start in the second case, but it needs to go deeper than that.

Matt.

brucie · Post by **brucie** » 24 Feb 2014, 23:05

Err so being a football manager isn't by its nature likely to be a stressful occupation, If you are prone to that sort of illness why put yourself in a situation which is highly likely to bring about these symptoms?

AustrianAndyGull · Post by **AustrianAndyGull** » 24 Feb 2014, 23:09

I made no personal judgements against Ling throughout his tenure. Not even when people made jokes about the rumours of him drinking. I made no comments about this. My comments were based on the fact that he consistently sent us out to defend from kick off and even if we went a goal down we would defend it. My criticisms were about his apparent lack of understanding about how to get a team playing attacking football. I apologised because i may have called him some unsavoury words.

I have nothing whatsoever to look at myself for apart from taking the usual frustrations about a seemingly limited manager that step too far in terms of abuse. I don't know the man. I know how he managed at win lose or draw his approach was unacceptable but now i can see reasons why he may have opted for the same tactic over and over.

I have apologised because the abuse about him being a poor manager was unwarranted in light of his issues. Nothing else. I don't need to go deeper at all. My conscience is clear.

jonnyfive · Post by **jonnyfive** » 24 Feb 2014, 23:15

Andy, you need say no more or less than you wish.

I certainly wouldn't pay any attention to someone who humourlessly hinted at alcoholism during Martin's illness.

rooster · Post by **rooster** » 24 Feb 2014, 23:21

brucie wrote:Err so being a football manager isn't by its nature likely to be a stressful occupation, If you are prone to that sort of illness why put yourself in a situation which is highly likely to bring about these symptoms?

If only it was as simple as that.........Im not an expert and don't profess to be, but your taking a very simplistic view of something that you and many don't perhaps fully understand. Its not a criticism but its not as simple or cut and dry as you think. It is quite common and not necessarily that episodes of depression/illness are brought about by a stressful job, the reason behind it is individual and once recognised can be managed.

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