Rene Howe's engagement!

[Rach]

Rene Howe has just tweeted that he is now engaged, I was thinking it'd be lovely to make up some kind of "congratulations" chant on Saturday

[ferrarilover]

Your boy can't be King,
Your boy can't be Kiiiiiiiiing,
he is a bastard,
Your boy can't be King.

Rene Howe's not married,
Although he is engaged,
his missus is a slapper
this song makes him enraged

Mrs Howe's a slapper
she likes a bit of rough
and when she's shagging Rene
she thinks of Michael Brough

That's all I got. I'll grant you, I'm no Tim Rice, but you try thinking of a rhyme for 'engaged'.

Matt.

[Dutchgull]

Inspirational. I am sure he will love that.

[jonnyfive]

Ferrarilover, I am genuinely concerned for your mental well-being.

How are any of those supposed to be funny?

[Gullscorer]

Get Cliff Richard in, with the Blackthorn...

[Wisconsin_gull]

MAtt - try enraged - sure with Rene's penchant for yellow cards you could work this into the lyric

What is the tune so sing this to?

[Richinns]

Your boy can't be King,
Your boy can't be Kiiiiiiiiing,
he is a b*****d,
Your boy can't be King.

Rene Howe's not married,
Although he is engaged,
his missus is a slapper
this song makes him enraged

Mrs Howe's a slapper
she likes a bit of rough
and when she's shagging Rene
she thinks of Michael Brough

That's all I got. I'll grant you, I'm no Tim Rice, but you try thinking of a rhyme for 'engaged'.

Matt.

Sometimes I just don't get what goes through your head. Why would you want your own fans to sing this about one of their players?

[Glostergull]

Oh Mattypoos. You do so seem to constantly get the wrong end of the stick.
The guys has just got engaged to his sweetheart.
He loves her. Well I sincerely hope he does.
There isn't a shotgun in his back.
At this stage I doubt he can even see the ball and chain.
You seem to be thinkng ahead as if he is about to get divorced.
Now be a good chap and put away the layers brain.Stop thinking about your defence in court.
It's her Mlud. She drives me round the bend.
There will be no big fat fee for you there.
Heaven help your potential girlfriends assuming one is brave enough!

[AustrianAndyGull]

Inspirational. I am sure he will love that.

[AustrianAndyGull]

First of all congrats to Rene, second of all i'm liking the last part of the song Matt but third of all i have to admire your archaic principles with regards marriage but disagree as it's only a piece of paper. Does a piece of paper keep people together?

[Glostergull]

First of all. Congratulations Rene. I am sure we all wish you the best. even Matt.
Second how about a tune of John Denvers Annies song to these words

Shes driving him senseless
She's captured his heart.
she wants him forever
he cant even fart
He wants her and needs her
she promised him babies
You'll find Rene crying
Down in Cary park

[Gullscorer]

Just hope he keeps his mind on scoring...

[Rach]

Ferrarilover, I am genuinely concerned for your mental well-being.

How are any of those supposed to be funny?

Good job i'm studying Mental Health Nursing :na:

and I was thinking along the classic lines of "Congratulations, and celebrations!" With something Rene related thrown in.

[PhilGull]

Good job i'm studying Mental Health Nursing :na:

and I was thinking along the classic lines of "Congratulations, and celebrations!" With something Rene related thrown in.

Congratulations and celebrations
When Rene tells everyone that he's in love
with you
Congratulations
and jubilations
Rene wants the world to know he's happy as can be.

Who could believe that he could be happy and
contented
We used to think that happiness hadn't been
invented
But that was in the bad old days before we met you
When we let you
walk into our heart

Congratulations...

He was afraid that maybe you thought you
were above him
That he was only fooling myself to think you
loved him
But then tonight you said you couldn't live
without him
That round about him
You wanted to stay

Congratulations...

Congratulations and jubilations
Rene wants the world to know he's happy as can be
He wants the world to know
He's happy as can be

[ferrarilover]

MAtt - try enraged - sure with Rene's penchant for yellow cards you could work this into the lyric

What is the tune so sing this to?

Read the bloody lyric, that's exactly the word I used
First one is that bloody tune which almost every song uses (I wanna go home etc)
Second and third I think are 'my old man's a dustman'.

Johnny/Rich,

It's a joke, if you're unsure, the OED can now be accessed online. If you don't think I'm amusing, that's entirely your prerogative, but you'll forgive me I if I lose no sleep over the fact.

Matt.