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For all of you that are thinking, "oh super! An intelligent thread about employment!". Then you are to be shortly deflated. This is pure trivia like most of my threads and it is a bit of fun.

First of all you have to pick 3 jobs that you would hate to do or don't see the point of doing. I realise that some answers may correspond with actual jobs that TUFC Fans.com members or people they know do and if this happens then may I apologise in advance. This is not meant to poke fun and working people just to get an idea of what each individuals idea of 'job heaven and hell' is.

Secondly you have to pick 3 jobs you would LOVE to do.

The thought of having to do any kind of work depresses me! If the job is well paid that might ease the pain a little, but ideally I should like to continue a leisure time activity which would also pay me some wages, such as testing beds and armchairs, or being a beer and wine taster, or a television critic..

Worst jobs for me would be full-time ones, or jobs involving walking, heavy lifting, or providing customer service. Ugh..!!

Gullscorer wrote:The thought of having to do any kind of work depresses me! If the job is well paid that might ease the pain a little, but ideally I should like to continue a leisure time activity which would also pay me some wages, such as testing beds and armchairs, or being a beer and wine taster, or a television critic..

Worst jobs for me would be full-time ones, or jobs involving walking, heavy lifting, or providing customer service. Ugh..!!

Lazy get! Get off your arse and earn a living or one day I'm going to hunt you down........ :slap:

BOOM!

Another attempt at encouraging forum member participation goes awol!

I love work; it fascinates me. I could sit and watch it for hours

Jerome K Jerome.

Matt.

Andy I did try, but the very thought of work immediately gives me mental exhaustion, glazed eyes and palpitations. This is obviously a long-term medical condition which appears to be incurable and makes me unfit for any kind of job. It probably began in my childhood when my teenage single mum fed me a diet of crisps, chips, chocolate, colas and cannabis, and forced me to play computer games which resulted in me dropping out of school. It's all very depressing. My GP says that our climate is probably making things worse and the only chance of a possible future cure is a two-week holiday in the tropics every three months (for him, not me)..

ferrarilover wrote:I love work; it fascinates me. I could sit and watch it for hours
Jerome K Jerome.
Matt.

Jerome, G K Chesterton, and Richmal Crompton, bless her, are three of my favourite authors. Their humour is as fresh today as it was when it was written all those years ago, way before our time. Difficult to believe that Three Men in a Boat was written in 1889..!!
The only author I can think of in more modern times who might approach them is Kingsley Amis (Lucky Jim). But there may be others whose names escape me right now..

Gullscorer wrote:Andy I did try, but the very thought of work immediately gives me mental exhaustion, glazed eyes and palpitations. This is obviously a long-term medical condition which appears to be incurable and makes me unfit for any kind of job. It probably began in my childhood when my teenage single mum fed me a diet of crisps, chips, chocolate, colas and cannabis, and forced me to play computer games which resulted in me dropping out of school. It's all very depressing. My GP says that our climate is probably making things worse and the only chance of a possible future cure is a two-week holiday in the tropics every three months (for him, not me)..

That is all we can do.

jobs i would hate - well i would hate to do anything that involves dealing with the public where you see them at their most selfish, obnoxious, abusive worst. there are some like customer service, hospital a&e receptionist, or as mentioned earlier job centre/benefit claims. these ones though to me would be jobs hell -

working in a busy pub/bar. absolutely agree with you andy, my idea of a job from hell, more or less for the same reasons you gave, it would be too hectic, too stressful, i would get flustered and screw it up, too many tossers to deal with, it would be difficult not to get well uptight with people who were shouting and getting abusive. i would either end up smacking someone or locking myself in the cellar, they would later find me rocking back and forth dribbling.

working in kitchens. similar to the last one, the heat, the pace, stress, some jumped up little twerp bellowing orders at me and talking to me like shit, unreasonable expectations of me, and all for minimum wage.

supermarket checkout. hats off to anybody that does this job. some might say yeah boring, mudane, repetetive. that i could handle, boring is good, but have you seen the checkouts when they are busy, have you heard the way some people abuse the checkout operator over something like a 12p can of beans.

think about how busy a saturday afternoon gets, all those people coming at you, expecting you to scan about 2 million items in 30 seconds, its even worse near christmas, it would make whats left of my hair turn white and yeah, they would find me hiding at the back of the warehouse, rocking back and forth dribbling and mumbling "they are coming to get me mummy".

fair play to anyone who does that job.

i always thought an awful job would be to wipe peoples asses or clean up their $h1t, p1$$, spew and god knows what else or help some old guy wash his ball bag, but i would rather do those things than any of the jobs above.

so hey, guess what?

i work as a carer (community) and those things are part of what i do, as well as loads of other stuff that goes with the job, there are some not nice things involved sometimes, but the good times far outweigh anything else. it is great to help people that need it and i meet loads of interesting people. it has changed my way of thinking about a lot of things in life and i see things clearly that i did not before, it is certainly an eye opener. just to help somebody or to do something for someone that might make their day is a job worthwhile. i am quite happy doing what i do.

i stopped dreaming many years ago, it was always i wanna be a rock star or a footballer or a famous actor or im gonna be the middleweight champion of the world ( more like a heavyweight now). but no, i have to say it is nice to do a job helping others and it makes me happy.

Jobs I would hate. (probably cois I would be sh**e at them and the stress would kill me.
Football manager. come on guys. be honest. with the bards on this board we would have no chance. everything examined in detail and then ripped to pieces by Brucie.

Traffic warden Nuff said

Teacher.
Why oh why did I think all those years ago that I was destined to become a teacher. Chavs sitting at desks thinking up ways to disrupt lessons or throwing book around. then shouting help when you want to kill them for setting fire to your experiment and the girls sat behind the desk. I took the wrong course and should have tried the reception class. at least the little dears in there loved you to bits when you tried to be funny.

Jobs I would love.
Well I do love running my business. and have done for 25 years now on and off. but the stress of trying to make profits is not easy. I am looking to retire so I can drive my new car around. For goodness sake, Whats the point of spending out on a super car if you ain't got the time to enjoy it

Train Driver. I tried an tried for years to get the job and then gave up.

Signaller. I wish I had still got that job. it was brilliant.

Actor. I just love acting in amateur stuff but would love to do it professionally

Musician. Now I am having a try at that. or to put it more correctly I am writing stuff and getting noticed. I may get a chance to go to the US because of it. We wait to see,

Hey you lot, bar work is okay, it has lots of good bits

Hate-to-do jobs -
1. Driving Instructor. There's too many k**bs on the road, I'd get road rage constantly. Plus, being an Aries, I'm not blessed with patience and the thought of some poor learner driver dithering at a roundabout would send me insane.
2. Bank clerk. Naff uniforms, handling lots of money that I can't have, sitting behind a perspex barrier...nah.
3. Toilet cleaner. I like other types of cleaning but can't cope with other people's wee and poo.


Love-to-do jobs -
1. Personal shopper. Woo hoo, right up my street. If anyone wants to employ me to do their shopping, pm me!!
2. Nurse. Would love to do this, obviously without having to deal with the wee/poo combo though.
3. Dog handler/trainer...anything canine really unless it involved being there when they croak.


Am about to change my job after 12 years of being a teaching assistant. Going into bar/restaurant/shop/guest house full time, so hopefully will have many lovely customers and no obnoxious, nasty ones

Love To Do jobs:
1. Personal trainer/masseur for Jennifer Aniston or Megan Fox.
2.Lottery Winners Liaison Officer-contacting winners to tell them they've won £ millions-and awaiting the reaction!
3.Football reporter-preferably for a local paper covering TUFC matches(move over Dave Thomas!).

Hate to do jobs:
1.Air-steward. Male trolly-dolly. Safety instructions,check seat-belts,dish out crap food,sell-duty free-repeat;again and again.Obnoxious passengers,sick kids,pompous pilots and terbulence/flights from hell, thrown in for good measure.
2. Driving job.White van,lorry,taxi, bus;any form of driving for a living.Would totally do my head-in.
3.Caring for older people-admire those that do(such as Chunky), but just couldn't do the "personal care" bit myself-would make me feel physically sick!

westbaygull wrote:Hey you lot, bar work is okay, it has lots of good bits

Hate-to-do jobs -
1. Driving Instructor. There's too many k**bs on the road, I'd get road rage constantly. Plus, being a girl, I'm not blessed with patience and the thought of some poor learner driver dithering at a roundabout would send me insane.
2. Bank clerk. Naff uniforms, handling lots of money that I can't have, sitting behind a perspex barrier...nah.
3. Toilet cleaner. I like other types of cleaning but can't cope with other people's wee and poo.


Love-to-do jobs -
1. Personal shopper. Woo hoo, right up my street. If anyone wants to employ me to do their shopping, pm me!!
2. Nurse. Would love to do this, obviously without having to deal with the wee/poo combo though.
3. Dog handler/trainer...anything canine really unless it involved being there when they croak.


Am about to change my job after 12 years of being a teaching assistant. Going into bar/restaurant/shop/guest house full time, so hopefully will have many lovely customers and no obnoxious, nasty ones

Corrected that for you, Jane.

Matt.

westbaygull wrote:
Love-to-do jobs -

3. Dog handler/trainer...anything canine really unless it involved being there when they croak.

I've wanted to do that ever since I was a kid, unfortunately the pay is seriously crap. I've got the best of both worlds now, a job that pays well monday to friday and at weekends I get to do the thing I love best. Training dogs to a good level is one of the most satisfying things you can ever do. I've managed to get Major to a level now that Police dog handlers could only dream of

I'd actually be interested in a thread to find out what jobs people actually have.

I've made assumptions, of course. I know ferrarilover is some sort of lawyery type; presumably the type that sits in the basement in a darkened room somewhere. Brucie is a lemon taster, based on the face I imagine he makes at anything Torquay United-related.