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The more obsessive Gulls amongst us will know the fixture list pretty much off by heart and therefore you will know that a few days before Father Christmas shows his mug we have a game at Dagenham & Redbridge.

Now i'm sure you all know that I 'DON'T DO' games in London just like I 'DON'T DO' women who look like Myleene Klass and I 'DON'T DO' Asian cuisine. In fact the first example fails to tell the whole story, I 'DON'T DO' women full stop. Not because i'm a homo but because most blokes betrothed or not who had been with the same person for over 5 years will concur that your penis only emerges for wee wees or sordid but discreet and biologically necessary solo hand action.

What has this got to do with Dagenham I hear you ask? Well, I want to make the weekend into a Christmassy shopping type trip thingy with the little un and other half (i'm not married though, God forbid) and I've cunningly worked out that I could in actual fact get to the Daggers game whilst they go shopping at Lakeside and then we could perhaps venture into London for a bit?

When I suggested it my other half said, "Hey! We could go into London for a bit?" and then I thought "Christ, No! How about going to Colchester instead? I'd even go to the Spice Museum at Longstanton if it meant avoiding the big smoke, crowds, a mathematically improbable ratio of criminals to law abiding people, traffic, city types and cyclists.

Basically does anyone have any info for Daggers such as how easy is it to get to from the M25, what is around it, am I more than 20% likely to be randomly attacked, if I speak in Yorkshire will I get attacked, if I don't speak will I get attacked and basically is it worth the hassle?

I know the Daggers fans are a friendly lot but it's London, it's different there. I'm not used to it. Can I find the ground really easily, find a nice parking spot, have a wander around without needing a tazer and get away again easily after the game?

Are there any supermarkets nearby where I can quell any panic attack by perusing the nuts and crisps aisle until the symptoms abate?

I would greatly appreciate any info any of you had about trips to Daggers and everything about it and I shall make my decision. I will probably end up going and then getting the bugger out of London asap and heading up to Cambridge or Colchester instead for a few nights.

Luke, what is Cambridge Xmas market like mate and is the city worth a visit in December?

Cheers all!

Dagenhams ground is very close to the M25, Parking is really easy there is ample street parking on the main road so less than a 5 min walk to the ground and although dagenham is a bit of a hole you will be fine, the fans are a decent enough crowd and are friendly enough.. Just don't wander into any council estates and this will ensure your safe return home in time for Santa

Dagenham is a bit of a hole, Andy, but there are some genuinely anazing places in East London. Shoreditch, Brick Lane, Dalston all well worth a visit. Also, assuming tongue in cheek, but violence wise, the riots aside, I saw none in 3 years living in Bethnal Green. The population is so diverse, racially, and UK wise, that no accent is uncommon. You are much more likely to be attacked in small country type places than you are in London for being "different".

I'll grant you the business of it can be a little overwhelming, but really London as a whole should be experienced.

Cheers Supergulls and Cornish too, obviously my post was a little over exaggerated but I cannot hide from the fact that i'd rather visit somewhere like Corby than London. I suppose Dagenham isn't really London though as it's only a few miles from the M25 so it's not as if i'll have to drive way into the city. Is Brick Lane where they have all the markets and antique shops?

i love london andy, find it so fascinating to see all the comings and goings, never ever found it scary, i'd book yourself into the centre and show the family the sights, yr young un would absolutely love it?? saying that, cambridge is lovely too

AustrianAndyGull wrote:Cheers Supergulls and Cornish too, obviously my post was a little over exaggerated but I cannot hide from the fact that i'd rather visit somewhere like Corby than London. I suppose Dagenham isn't really London though as it's only a few miles from the M25 so it's not as if i'll have to drive way into the city. Is Brick Lane where they have all the markets and antique shops?

It is, its best visited on a Sunday, the market is incredible on Sundays, as is the flower market on Columbia road just behind Brick Lane. Obviously its up to you, but however you have formed your opimions of London, I'd imagine they'd change if you gave it a go.

AustrianAndyGull wrote: I 'DON'T DO' women who look like Myleene Klass

I know you're a bit "odd" at times Andy, but seriously? Myleene Klass!?

What the hell is wrong with you man?? :slap:

I think it's because I've never been there apart from on the Sheffield Wednesday supporters coach to Selhurst Park when I was about 15. All I remember is myriads of streets and tower blocks and looking at the map and it just seemed so big and scary at that age. It must have been negative conditioning. Wednesday beat Charlton (when they played at Selhurst ) 1-0 thanks to current gargs boss John Sheridan. My only other experience of London was when I flew to Vienna from Heathrow and I went on the tube to the airport from Kings Cross and it was just a right mess. People rushing about, 100 miles and hour stuff, nobody willing to help, me and my mate didn't have a clue what tube to take and we asked about 5 separate people and were ignored each time.

Coming back on the tube from the airport we waited for the tube to pull into Heathrow and it was literally crammed with large gangs of intimidating people so we let it pass and got the next one. We sat down with our duty free between our legs bricking it, there was a bloke on the tube dressed as a clown, opposite there were a couple of shifty looking South American types muttering in their own tongue and further on down there was a young lady sat upright listening to a self help tape on her personal stereo because we could f*cking hear it! It was saying breathe deep and calm! On top of this NOBODY in the carriage spoke. Absolute set of friggin' weirdo's!! I'll be honest , I didn't know whether to sh*t myself or blurt out UNBELIEVEABLE!!

They are my experiences of London.

Jerry, Myleene Klass is like me, of Austrian heritage so I should like her but she looks like a Japanese pixie.

AustrianAndyGull wrote:Luke, what is Cambridge Xmas market like mate and is the city worth a visit in December?

http://www.eastlife.co.uk//bwa-assets/i ... t-xmas.jpg

It's worth a visit at any time of the year, just avoid busy Christmas shopping days. You are also more than welcome to meet me for a beer too! (Gluten free, of course )

It's lovely around the Kings College area which is literally one street away from the market, and there's an awesome clock.

cambgull wrote: http://www.eastlife.co.uk//bwa-assets/i ... t-xmas.jpg

It's worth a visit at any time of the year, just avoid busy Christmas shopping days. You are also more than welcome to meet me for a beer too! (Gluten free, of course )

It's lovely around the Kings College area which is literally one street away from the market, and there's an awesome clock.

aye, cambridge is mighty fine.

and its good job your spelling is spot on cambgull............. :}

as for that there london, just go you derbyshire ponce......... =D

Cheers Luke for the info and kind offer of a quick pint, I say quick as after a few minutes with me you'll be heading for the exits. I'm like a Martin Ling side ok at first but after a while you get mightily f*cked off! (only kidding - Ling isn't THAT bad!).

I may opt for Cambridge as I have decided NOT to go to London but I will go to Daggers. Where I go for a few days Xmas shopping is open for debate but Colchester or Cambridge now look the best bets unless anyone has any suggestions of towns around that neck of the woods that are worth visiting. Definitely not going to London though, PHEW!!!! My decision is final.

Cambridge over Colchester every time mate. Colchester is a massive disappointment. Cambridge will be busy though on the run up to Xmas.

AustrianAndyGull wrote:Cheers Luke for the info and kind offer of a quick pint, I say quick as after a few minutes with me you'll be heading for the exits. I'm like a Martin Ling side ok at first but after a while you get mightily f*cked off! (only kidding - Ling isn't THAT bad!).

I may opt for Cambridge as I have decided NOT to go to London but I will go to Daggers. Where I go for a few days Xmas shopping is open for debate but Colchester or Cambridge now look the best bets unless anyone has any suggestions of towns around that neck of the woods that are worth visiting. Definitely not going to London though, PHEW!!!! My decision is final.

I'd highly suggest the King Street Run, Andy. You'd love it there, a proper rock pub with friendly locals, a jukebox with everything you could possibly want to hear, pool tables and retro gaming tables.

AustrianAndyGull wrote:Cheers Luke for the info and kind offer of a quick pint, I say quick as after a few minutes with me you'll be heading for the exits. I'm like a Martin Ling side ok at first but after a while you get mightily f*cked off! (only kidding - Ling isn't THAT bad!).

I may opt for Cambridge as I have decided NOT to go to London but I will go to Daggers. Where I go for a few days Xmas shopping is open for debate but Colchester or Cambridge now look the best bets unless anyone has any suggestions of towns around that neck of the woods that are worth visiting. Definitely not going to London though, PHEW!!!! My decision is final.

I don't understand what your problem is with London. You're supposed to be dirty great Northerner....man up ya poof

Look, i'm weird. We know that.

Any place that has thousands and thousands of people weirder than I am is probably best avoided.