Save Rich - don’t let Emily win

[Richinns]

I turn to you at my lowest ebb

It all began mid-season of last. It was just a normal Saturday but the excitement of a home game made it special. I awoke and started to plan things when the missus turned round and informed me that she would rather go to the rugby with her Father on that fateful day (the Launceston all Blacks – who they?) than accompany me to Plainmoor.

I flipped – I did the thing which was driven by impulse and rage. I did the thing anyone else in position would do. I am not ashamed by my actions. She had it coming to her:

I told her she was banished from Torquay United fan status!


Little did I know then what my actions on this day would have caused.

She accepted the fate I bestowed upon her and promptly turned to the dark side - taking on the path her Grandad had forged before her, and one which I had managed (until this day) to steer her away from, - she became a dirty Grecian.

At first it was not too big a deal - we were going well and they were nailed on for relegation. We did not often clash.

However, as last season came to a disappointing end and this season approached, things became heightened, tensions strained and drunken bets made.

In front of MANY witnesses in a local pub finally came the deal which has led to my darkest hour and to this plea:

It was shaken upon and set in stone. The individual whose loyalties lie to highest placed team at the end of this season would receive that team’s next shirt (as purchased by the defeated individual).
BUT FAR WORSE THAN THIS - the defeated and broken individual would then have to have a picture taken is said shirt for all their family and friends to view through the medium of Facebook. Their world would laugh upon them and the image would always be there – taunting them for every breath which remained within them until the day they pass.

I was confident, I had a swag of arrogance, Eunan had just told Crawley where his loyalties lied, they were so poor the season before and we looked a very strong League 2 outfit. What could go wrong? What has gone wrong?

So I turn to you and ask of you (with colossal trepidation) - fans, employees, management and players of Torquay United Football Club – in desperation and fear, as you are now the only ones who can change the fate currently starring down upon me with a grin of inevitability – help me, you are my only hope.

Save Rich - don’t let Emily win

[AustrianAndyGull]

Weirder than one of mine that Rich! But for what it's worth, you're doomed. Emily has already booked the holiday as obviously there isn't a hope in hell we'll finish above the Greeks mate.

[SuperNickyWroe]

can believe you are still with her rich to be honest.

[PhilGull]

You're lucky she's still with you!
You banned her from being a gull, forcing her to don those god awful red and white stripes - shame on you!

[chardie]

Sounds like a marriage made in Devon....




I'll get me coat.

[Richinns]

Sounds like a marriage made in Devon....




I'll get me coat.