Torquay United Fans Forum

Anyway, to names. What is it with the explosion of people with poxy, pretentious double barreled names? What is wrong with the old fashioned idea of taking your Fathers (or Mothers) surname? Most of them sound ridiculous, eg Loftus-Cheek, McCarthy-Scarsbrook and the athlete Johnson-Thompson ffs? As for the England youth teams at the recent World cups, they did so well because the opposition must have thought they wer fielding about 16 players! I've already received an e mail from someone with a triple barreled name! Where is it all going to end?

Gercha

And while I'm in a bad mood (had Man-Flu since New Years Eve FFS!)

I hate anyone and everyone who type 'WHOOP WHOOP' after a post, anywhere!

What the foook does 'WHOOP WHOOP' mean?

Who ever said 'WHOOP WHOOP' in a conversation?

Where did this abomination 'WHOOP WHOOP' (and its cousin WOOP WOOP) come from in the first place?



(It's America isn't it, it's got to be).



I hope all 'WHOOP WHOOP' ers die horribly.......as soon as possible.

People who insist on telling you their dog's age in "dog years". Does my box in.



"He's 10, that means he's 70 in doggie years".



No he isn't, he's 10. They just don't live for very long.

:slap:

Kids in schools around St James Park have had letters home, it states to the parents that because it is very cold at the moment they are advising parents picking children up from the gate to wear two pairs of pyjamas.

I'd have given Mason Crane, a proper spinner who can actually turn the ball instead of Ali. I know it's not a spinners pitch, so why is Ali in the side anyway? Not for his batting that's for sure.
The reason Crane wasn't selected is due to his total lack of batting and its a batting track. Then Ali is moved down the order and gets a second baller!
Even Ballance would be a better pick than Ali at the moment though, but Ali (like Panesar, Shah, Bopara, Patel ffs!) before him ticks a box, that's the only reason I can see for his inclusion at the moment.

Named unchanged side for third test. That's the series finished then!
What does Moeen Ali have to do to get left out?
Done absolutely nothing as yet but still plays in every game in every format.

I just buried an ancient woolly pachyderm.....................












it was a mammoth undertaking.

The Magnificent Seven appeared in a series of adverts for aftershave, filmed at Anfield.

Only six of them took part though.





Because Yul never wore cologne.

I've decided to sell all my Dogging equipment on E Bay.


Had no bids yet but there is nine people watching.......... :-o

A mate of mine saw a sign outside a house:

'Talking Dog For Sale'....

He rang the bell, the owner appeared and told him the dog can be viewed in the back garden.

My mate goes into the garden and sees a very nice looking Black Labrador Retriever sitting there.

"Can you really talk?" He asks the dog.

"Yes!" The Labrador replies.

After recovering from the shock of hearing the dog talk, my mate asks, "So, tell me your story!"

The Labrador looks up and says,

"Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the SAS. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one imagined that a dog would be eavesdropping.

I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years, But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down.

I signed up for a job at Heathrow to do some undercover security work, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded several medals. I got married, had a few puppies, and now I've just retired!"

My mate is amazed and decides to buy the dog.

He goes back into the house and asks the owner how much he wants for the dog.

"Ten quid!" The owner says.

"£10? But this dog is absolutely amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheaply?" my mate replies

















"Because he's a lying t**t!!" says the owner, "He's never been out of the garden!!"

Once again Mrs Beard has left so little petrol in the car that I can only get as far as the pub....

... It’s enough to drive a man to drink.

An elderly mate of mine was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation.
As he was about to get the anesthesia, he asked to speak to his son...
"Yes Dad, what is it,"
"Don't be nervous son; do your best, and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me, your mother is going to come and live with you your wife"

Took my lad to Darlington 95/96 season, won 0-2 and I counted 28 in the away end.

Son - "Dad, why is my sister called Teresa?"
Dad - "Because your mum loves Easter, it's an anagram."
Son - "Thanks Dad."
Dad - "No problem Alan"

Prossy asks a Scouser if he wants a blowjob.

"Not sure", says the Scouser, "will it affect my benefits?"