Torquay United Fans Forum

The Spotty Mob (half a dozen of them) invaded the Senile Delinquents section of the Popside last night (half-way line, at the back). Actually they weren't as bad as some make out. There was some silly pushing and shoving and shouts of 'school tomorrow!', but their attempts at shouting and chanting were pretty half-hearted and they were outsung and outchanted by the sex- and septagenarians who populate the back of the Popside. I was surprised to see the gate as there hasn't been such a squash in the senile delinquent section for years, but then perhaps it was just the Spotty Mob!

I am going.

I will be there.

But will Gilbert?

Perhaps, but only if we ditch the one up front tactic which has failed us for the past six weeks or so.
In any case, I have voted No.

Worrying as usual about the GILBERT problem, I have come up with an idea that might lift the wretched squawker from his slumbers. At Swindon the mascot does an extravagant dance to the Bobby Day song 'Rockin' Robin'. So why not play The Trashmen's 'Bird's the Word' as Gilbert makes his entrance? He could waddle like a duck, do the bunny hop, the monkey , even the dog,and certainly the bird, to the tune. The possibilities are endless. Of course, if the feathered wretch is tired, then The Rivington's version of 'Bird's the Word' could be played (slower, more soulful).
Note to younger readers: 'Bird's the Word' featured in a Family Guy episode.

ROBIN STUBBS!

Also, I agree with the above contributor re: the sound system. In the popular side it cannot (or can barely be) heard. One benefit of increasing the level of sound would be to drown out any drumming (which, happily, occurs less and less).

The first thing that needs to be done is to have a complete refurbishment of the Pop side bogs. They are an absolute disgrace: stinking, flooded, uncomfortable, and redolent of the days when clubs could not care less about their paying customers. Would you go anywhere else who provided bogs like these? The answer is NO.
Nothing could sum up more vividly the dying remnants of fifties, sixties and seventies football grounds than those reeking, foul, dripping bogs.

It's GILBERT's job to get the crowd going.I notice that he's been AWOL a bit recently. This Gilbert is just about o.k. so far (much better than the last one), but when Shrewsbury came down earlier this season, bringing Lenny the Lion with them, it was clear that - in comparison - Gilbert's performances need freshening up a bit. Perhaps TUFC could finance a course for him at the well-known Mascot Academy.

Speaking as one of the senile delinquents who for years have populated the back rows of the Pop. side, we (I speak for us all) take offence as being called 'grandads' who 'might get vertigo' if we climb up the new Bristow's Bench stairs. As far as we're concerned, unremitting war with the spotty-faced brigade is now under way.

I found this tucked away in a book.
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I live fifty miles away. I will not be making the 100 mile round trip on Tuesday. Attendance? Just over a thousand if they're lucky.

The new one is great! The old one was, for years, moth-eaten and lacking in energy (he was rarely seen after kick-off) and it was only towards the end of his time that he started wearing tights. The new one looks meaner and nastier, wears shorts and tights and has a pair of feet the like I've never seen. Mind you 'One Can Lasher' will take some beating as a Gilbert, but I wish the new one every success. Now here's what he must do: squawk, flap, jump in the air, turn somersaults, explode, run on to the pitch to congratulate the scorer when we score, annoy the visiting fans as much as possible and finally disappear in a cloud of sparks and flame when we win.

For some it's Saah, for other it's Stevens. For me it's that avian wretch Gilbert. Incidentally, where was he last Saturday?

Eric Webber, surely: promotion, a goal away from promotion to Div 2 (Championship), 3-3 draw with Spurs (FA Cup).