by Dave_Pougher » 06 Jul 2014, 13:18
No footie on today, what ever are the women going to whinge about ?
Still at least they have their marvellous and diverse bat and ball final this afternoon to amuse themselves. The rules of which are thus.
Man (or person) takes yellow hairy ball, throws it in the air and hits it with bat, over a hair net, to person and the other end of the lawn.
Person at other end of garden then tries to hit said ball (often travelling quiet quickly!) with their bat back from whence it came. Often, (after maybe five or six hits!) it can become quiet strenuous so short breaks are required where delightful orange and lemon squash are served to alleviate the stresses of such arduous conditions all meticulously supervised by an official in a very very high chair.
The winner and supreme elitist All England Garden Champion, after many knockout rounds lasting for two weeks often extending some days to way past their bed time is the person who returns the yellow hairy thing to the other end of the garden the most. Should they fail however they may be permitted to enter a similar competition (in a slightly wider garden) with some help from somebody of the same sex, opposite sex or both.
EXACTLY the same group of people then travel, throughout the year, to America, Australia and Paris and do EXACTLY the same thing in different kinds of gardens!
Still at least it's only FOUR TIMES a year as opposed to ONCE EVERY FOUR YEARS!!!!!!! Eh girls?
No footie on today, what ever are the women going to whinge about ?
Still at least they have their marvellous and diverse bat and ball final this afternoon to amuse themselves. The rules of which are thus.
Man (or person) takes yellow hairy ball, throws it in the air and hits it with bat, over a hair net, to person and the other end of the lawn.
Person at other end of garden then tries to hit said ball (often travelling quiet quickly!) with their bat back from whence it came. Often, (after maybe five or six hits!) it can become quiet strenuous so short breaks are required where delightful orange and lemon squash are served to alleviate the stresses of such arduous conditions all meticulously supervised by an official in a very very high chair.
The winner and supreme elitist All England Garden Champion, after many knockout rounds lasting for two weeks often extending some days to way past their bed time is the person who returns the yellow hairy thing to the other end of the garden the most. Should they fail however they may be permitted to enter a similar competition (in a slightly wider garden) with some help from somebody of the same sex, opposite sex or both.
EXACTLY the same group of people then travel, throughout the year, to America, Australia and Paris and do EXACTLY the same thing in different kinds of gardens!
Still at least it's only FOUR TIMES a year as opposed to ONCE EVERY FOUR YEARS!!!!!!! Eh girls?
